No awkward lesbian experiences without me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
