Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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