dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
