im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
