I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
