maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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