It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
