i think my tv is drunk
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
