He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
