how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Randomize
