so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
