shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
