I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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