Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
