Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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