Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
