Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
