addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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