So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Holy shit dude........stairs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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