We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
