Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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