I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
