After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
