This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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