Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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