you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
