You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm like, not good at living.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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