Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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