the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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