is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
