I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
