ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
