Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fuck appropriateness.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
