I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
