Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
