She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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