There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
