i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
