so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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