you told grandpa to call you daddy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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