Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
