I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
