are you so shy because you have an std?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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