Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
