Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
