just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
