I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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