Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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