My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
