Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
